My first time and the innocence of Hijab when you're young
Assalamu Alaikum and welcome back to the Hijabi Culture newsletter. I apologise that this week's letter is hitting your inbox slightly later than usual and is being written in my 9am news meeting.
My brain is currently fixated on Liverpool's defeat on the weekend, the general capitulation of the squad and how on earth are we heading into the last 10 days of Ramadan.
I can't comprehend how quickly it's gone by- between late work shifts and busy weekends, it's somehow passed me by in a blur of praying, wondering if i'm doing enough, getting in naps and standing in Taraweeh. It's truly my favourite time of the year and I pray we're all blessed with many more.
Right into this week's actual topic of discussion.
Do you remember the first time you put your Hijab on?- the time you made the conscious decision to step out into the world, as a Hijabi.
Growing up, everyone around me wore a 'scarf' as we called it and there was always an inclination inside me to be part of them. I don't know if it was because I didn't want to be the odd one out at the ripe age of eight or if it was because I was intrigued by it, or maybe I just wanted to be an adult(!) but I remember the day like it was yesterday. Every morning we would sit down to pray before school and I made the decision that after we finished, I was going to 'forget' to take it off- only 'remembering' half way to school. I kept it on for that day in school, being the only scarf wearing girl in my class and then like the trendsetter I've always been, everyone followed suit. After that I never took it off and it was one of the best decisions I think I've made.
I've been thinking about it a lot recently, the innocence of wearing a scarf when you're young- you don't fully grasp what you're getting yourself into- you're excited about this new thing about you.
In the current climate, where we find Islamophobia on the rise, fewer Muslims openly practicing Islam; it's a joy to see the younger generation still feeling that inclination towards wearing a scarf. My little cousin inspired this thought process, that maybe there's hope after all, when she decided she was going to wear a scarf to school during Ramadan. My sister bought her scarves and she was overwhelmed by the gesture- to us it was tiny but to her it was a huge deal.
How are we ever to know the challenges that come with this decision we make when we’re so young. When the Hijab we’re so proud of, that excites us, is the reason we get attacked in the streets, have names thrown at us and seen as extremists.
Sometimes we punish ourselves heavily for all the things we haven't managed to do or how far we've got to go to become the perfect Muslimah- whilst it's important to strive and better ourselves for the sake of Allah, it's also vital that we reflect on ourselves and how far Allah has brought us. From the little girls who knew nothing about Hijab to teenagers who battled with their nafs in the pursuit to be like everyone else and now the adults who sit in our workplaces as a minority and face micro-aggressions. Alhamdulillah for it all- the strength it provides us, the courage and above all the reward we receive on the day where it matters most.
May Allah accept our struggles in wearing Hijab solely for him and make it the means of us hearing him say 'So join my servants and enter my paradise.'
If any of this resonated with you- please get in touch. I would love to hear about the first time you put your Hijab on.
Praying you have a blessed rest of the month and keep me in your duas!
Haleema