A New Perspective on Role models
The women who changed my perspective
Salam all and welcome back to the Hijabi Culture newsletter.
First and foremost I hope you all had a blessed Ramadan and a lovely Eid. I always find the end of Ramadan sad, I find it hard to let go because I'm so content with the way it shapes my life. My soul feels at ease and so detached from this crazy world that we live in, but it's always a wake up call for something or another.
Last year, a big shake up in my life was dismissing the idea of celebrity role models and pushing the entertainment industry and celebrity world out of my sphere. It was difficult, and sometimes I slowly fall back into it unknowingly, but for the most part Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Timothee Chalamet, Zac Efron, Zendaya, Tom Holland and a whole host of other people, whose lives I was caught up in, mean nothing to me. I let them go, at the same time, I let the idea of general role models go and it wasn't at a detriment- I was aiming to understand the message people were giving out rather than becoming obsessed with the person delivering it. It's worked so far and I want to keep working at it.
But, whilst I want to detach myself from people obsessing, In the past week I've been left beyond inspired by two women. Two fairly ordinary women on the surface, yet they have shifted my perspective, massively.
One of the women was an acquaintance I made when I was a journalism student at university looking for a story to put in my portfolio. I was a very lax student on the broadcast side, because I never wanted to work in TV News ( She says this writing from a broadcast newsroom) but I wanted something close to home, and easy. I stumbled on a story about a woman offering free exercise classes to South Asian women to improve mental health and general fitness as well as giving them the chance to socialise, It was a decent story, it was down the road from my house and I thought you know what let's do it.
What I didn't expect was for the woman to be a Niqabi who was more than willing to be on camera- with her niqab on. A thought ran through my mind, I'm the only diverse person on my entire course, people barely understand Hijab and here I am filming with a niqabi. It was a success and I think I should have won some kind of diversity award for it- it truly probably is the only piece to feature a niqabi speaking, with South Asian women positively talking about exercise and a group of Niqabi’s playing rounders. It was an inspiring event but once I was done with my project, I put it out of my mind. The woman who organised it, was also pushed to the back of my mind; we kept in contact throughout the years, saying salaam as we bumped into each other at community events. It was only by chance at a local Taraweeh jamat for women that we became more familiar with each other.
At the start of 2025 she received news that she had a tumour- I was shocked when she told me, but in my head I thought she would be fine, because she seemed so calm about it. She is ever an optimist.
On the 27th night of Ramadan, while I was sat in Taraweeh I messaged her on LinkedIn and she responded with so many Alhamdullilah and Subhanallah's that I thought it was good news- when I re-read the message, she'd been diagnosed with Stage 4 blood cancer and she was starting chemo the following week. Tears just poured out of my eyes as I tried to comprehend what I was reading. I visited her the next day and she was in the best of spirits, chatting away about her different hobbies, a course she had finished and what she was working towards. But in all of it, she was mindful of Allah and had such a firm belief and understanding of Islam that I'd never seen. She was content with the idea of death, but also she was still striving for her hereafter. When I saw her like this, I think it’s one of the only times in my life that I’ve seen what true patience looks like. She’s got two teenage daughters, she’s built a community who would be lost without her, yet she’s so at peace with what comes or doesn’t come her way.
After leaving her house that day, I made the resolution that I would check in on her, but also I would take how she was dealing with this as an example. Allah is the creator, everything is in his control and we have to be patient in life, no matter how big or small the problem is. Our real character and who we are comes out when we face tests and Subhanallah, there was light shining from this woman.
This was followed by another incident, days later; the morning of my 29th fast whilst some were getting ready to celebrate Eid. I woke up to the news, that one of my former teachers had passed away- not only that; she had passed away in Madinah at Tahajjud time after saying salam to the prophet.
What an auspicious ending for such a blessed woman. Her piety was different to that of Sheikhs and big Apas that we see- she was the quietest person in the room, the most smiley person in the room and above all she was the kindest.
I took something from her life, that I think few people have reflected on and that was her authenticity. She didn’t let people’s perceptions of her hold her back from pursuing sports, for going out on her bike with her Niqab on, taking part and demolishing her opponents in basketball or rounders. She was true to herself and as long as she stayed within the bounds of her religion there was nothing stopping her from pursuing her passions.
A lot of the times, we complain, it’s hard to be our authentic selves in this noisy world, where everyone is trying their utmost to bring those around them down. But when you step out of the little bubbles we create for ourselves and into the physical world, we realise no one is actually paying attention to us. Social media platforms have made us hyper aware of how we come across, but in the real world none of that matters.
I want to take that lesson, along with a whole host of others from her life- because all she cared about was pleasing Allah and while people may have put limitations on her because of her dress, she firmly rejected that and championed her passions.
May Allah grant us beautiful patience like the woman with cancer and give us the courage to to be our authentic selves- who aren’t afraid of what the world will think, when we go out and do what we love with our Hijabs and Niqabs.
Please share this newsletter with friends and family- let me know what you think of it, and if you have any ideas!
See you all next time!
Haleema